Gasp! Your group's getting consolidated, re-org'ed or screwed.

How to deal.

Keep yourself proactively searching for another opportunity if your current situation looks dire. I heard a new term (to me anyway) call passive job hunting. Simply put, keep your feelers out there, talk to headhunters or internal HR about what the market looks like, and tell them to contact you if they feel you're a fit for a hot job.

Stay put! yea that goes against what I just said above, but sometimes the change in your group is better than the previous version of it. If you are in fact a producer, and known for it, usually the new group wants to keep the cherry candidates and discard the dead wood.

Just chuck it and resign. But do so in a professional manner, give them the opportunity to keep you for three weeks so the transition is smooth. Most people who burn bridges come back to those charred remains later in their career. You may think your industry is big, but a bad reputation or black mark is bigger. So, be a pro, and people will remember you that way.

Product Plug: Sirius Internet Radio

Surprisingly enough, my current company has not blocked streaming media. Myspace yes, Friendster yes, my personal Yahoo Mail account, YES, but not my Sirius Radio subscription.

My wife bought me a Sirius for the car, and well, I take the train to work.

But the side benefit of this is that you can log in to the web based streaming player and listen to music, talk and Howard Stern while blocking out those annoying cubicle conversations.

Recently, Sirius started offering just an Internet only account, which I think is the best deal out there for fellow dwellers.

It certainly beats those goofy noise cancelling headphones people wear. Jeez...

My smart ass tude is recognized

I don't know if I posted that I"m now a commenter on Gawker. I'm more diligent in trying to make snarky comments on that site than populate my own.

Either way, I got me a gold star! I recently commented on the latest Madonna rabble about her stealing black babies from Africa, take a look. :)

http://www.gawker.com/news/comments/gold-star-motel-blowing-rails-with-bugaboos-212379.php

I feel like the person next to the person who got shot in a drive by

So in my current illustrious cubicle home a peer in my group got the "package".

I was truly betting it was me. I'm surprised somewhat that it wasn't.

He told me that he expected it (seems like we're all under our own death watch) because he didn't have good relationships with some senior managers. Bad things happen to good people. He was good people.

But on the flip side, he's happy! He is getting a sizable pay out to leave. The market is very strong right now. The employment levels are year 1999ish which means that the demand for people in our field is strong. http://money.cnn.com/2006/11/03/markets/stockswatch/index.htm?section=money_latest

He has just got himself a mini lottery winning.

Now, as a fellow dweller, but contractor, I feel a bit of envy. If I get sacked, that's it! No big bonus, no payout, just a high five and a kick in the ass.

But then again, I've never been sacked, other than one time in a very bad company. Hey wait, I won that lottery too, but it was only a two month severance. Not the payout my friend is getting.

So, for now I'm safe, but who knows what comes about next week.

Until later, peace!

Holy S(#$#*t it's happening in my area

What can I say, it's happened to our group.

We had a meeting earlier this week with our UK overlords who've informed us that two groups are going to be merged into one.

THIS SUCKS!

I truly didn't want to start job hunting this year, I wanted to stretch this out to at minimum 3 years. I hated to jump or get sacked due to consolidation.

Will let you know more when I know.

Workers of the world Unite!

Growing up in NYC where unions are the norm, I've come to generally have a distate for most of them.

In my view, there are no good unions left, their time has come and gone. The purist vision of a union was a great idea when they became relevant in the late 19th and early 20th century.

Over time though they became bloated and corrupt with mob influence directing their activities rather than the original mission statement, protecting their members.

But now........I think a union might not be a bad idea. Here's why..

The original intent of unions was to protect the single worker from the greed and mistreatment of the company he or she worked for. In the vein of that mission why isn't there a union being formed to protect the modern day cubicle dweller from the abuses of the global corporation? Since many of us aren't even employees of the company we work at these days, this idea actually should grow some roots.

Think about it, if a union was formed to promote, protect and lobby for workers that are at risk of being offshored, companies would be less inclined to make these waves of moves to off shore companies.

It can happen. An accounting union comprised of members that do AP, AR, ledger work etc forms nationally. Their membership can create pressures across multiple companies whenever a company reviews the possiblity of offshoring their functions. It's potentially a powerful lobby, with reach not only in the company that is considering the offshore move but other companies as well.

A national "sick out" happens when XYZ co in Denver starts talking to a Wipro about offshoring their IT staff. Productivity drops off all over the place, that's millons of lost time and effort.

Why not?

There was a time a union was needed to protect the little guy. The little guy was the average blue collar joe who toiled hard for himself and family.

Now I am seeing that the "little guy" can easily be a post graduate degreed white collar professional. Who would have thought?

I have to get back to work now, but I will explore this in the future.

What do you think?

So how do I differeniate myself from the rest

Jeez..

I thought I was original, I thought I was cool, but really I'm just a goofball, I'm just a fool...

I thought creating a blog about cubicle life was unique. So there are TONS of other cubicle dweller blogs.

So, okay, we're all pained to be stuck in a four foot by four foot square with pictures of our kids and Dilbert comics pinned onto some cheap green or gray felt walls.

I won't bitch about it, we're in a bad place.

I will think hard about building some brand awareness. Maybe a T-shirt from Cafe' Press, or some Myspace pages detailing the adventures of Cubicle Man...

Nah...I'm too lazy.

I think we should unite, we each have our own voice from within the cubes. Maybe we can build a super blog about Cubicle Dwelling and the pain and suffering that goes along with it.

Someday I will tell my wife about this crazy habit. For now, it is our little secret.

LinkedIn - I was cool before it became cool

I've used LinkedIn now for almost a year. For professionals it's the new Friendster.

I was badgered into entering a profile by my pal Rory, who saw the value of it way before I did.

Just recently, I was contacted for a spot through LinkedIn, which all of a sudden, Kaching! it's a real tool.

Check me out, I'm too cool for school.

View Michael King's profile

Holy Cow has it been a month already?

I'm totally a jackass for not keeping this up. I truthfully didn't know if how I want this blog to be structured, for the most part, I still don't. But........

I do know that I want to concentrate on issues within the workplace, with a somewhat serious, somewhat snarky flow.

I promise, I will do at least 3 posts per week.

On another front, one of my favorite blogs, Gawker, granted me commentator status. I will probably get axed within a month since I will probably become boring and reptetitive with nothing new to say.

We shall see...

I'm back!

Watching the Blood letting from a layoff - and continue to work though it all.

If you ever have been a part of a company that has done some layoffs (duh, of course you have) then you know the feeling of "dreary" that encompasses your coworkers and yourself.

I've been through most likely about four layoffs in my cubicle career. I've dodged three of them. Truth be told, it's almost a relief when it comes down.

You know it's you. A package is coming.

What I want to impart on you is that although the mood is absolutely horrendous, you have to slog through it if you're not one of the unlucky many who get the tap on the shoulder. I know, the mood is awful, and just try to get something done now that the layoffs have been handed down.

But you have to try anyway. The sooner the organization gets a sense of normalcy the better you look in the aftermath.

Hey, I'm all about comiserating with your fellow dwellers about the unlucky breaks in the world, but heck man, you didn't get one!

Now get back to work, trust me you'll thank me for it later.

Product Endorsement Time - Thinking for a Living

I love this book. Good reading for people who create, package, deliver, or manage information and the people that do information worker tasks.

Great author, easy to read, and it gives you great insight on who you are in this Information Economy.

http://www.tomdavenport.com/

How to survive the Offshoring Wave - Bring your swim trunks

Being an independent contractor, most layoff have never affected me personally. But having seen many of these layoffs and offshoring excerises, I can definitely speak to the good, the bad, and the ugly of these events. I've been asked for advice by employees over a range of topics. Here are my favorites.


Why oh god why are they doing this to me(us)???

It's the nature of the beast and it can't be avoided. Offshoring makes too much fiscal sense to companies. Granted the 50-75 percent savings that is touted really is 10-25 percent after the exercise is completed. That still is a savings, so deal with it. Companies have no loyalty to the personnel anymore.

How do I survive this?

Review who you are in the corporate world. Are you a resource that does repetitive tasks or are your duties more high touch/change focused?

If you are a person that does repetitive tasks, be prepared to be tapped on the shoulder at some point. If your work can be documented from end to end then it's an easy candidate for the punt around the world.

There was once a belief that call centers and IT development were the prime candidates for offshoring. That's not true anymore. AP and AR accounting, billing, and certain IT infrastructure jobs are now being offshored.

So, if you fit into those categories, what can you do? Here are some choices

1. Get out of your current job ASAP! Just make sure what you pick as a lateral move isn't also a target.
2. Elevate yourself from a lemming to a value add. Remember the repetitive part of the job goes offshore, but the knowledge and the customer touch points stay local. Look to position yourself as a "must have" due to your customer relationship skills, your innate knowledge of the environment, and your leadership. I know I can write this easily, but it's not an easy thing to do. Most people have a hard time changing gears and re-inventing themselves as something they haven't been throughout their tenure in the position.
3. Accept that you are a potential target and start preparing your marketing kit to the outside world of your company. This is a mental change that most people also struggle with. We were brought up to believe to be loyal to your company and the company will be loyal to you. Trust me there is no such thing! This doesn't mean that you are becoming a slacker within your job, but it does mean that you are being pragmatic about your time with your current position. So what is your marketing kit? Easy, your resume' and some cover letters. You can post your resume online in most of the major sites anonomouysly. That way you can get some feelers in the market by the interest your resume' generates.
4. Build your network of potential job givers. Start polling your past coworkers that you keep in touch with. Not a friendly sort? No problem, use the job boards for recruiters. When you post your resume' to the major sites, many recruiters have the ability to peruse the latest and greatest and they will contact the ones that interest them (Hopefully yours). Keep in contact with those recruiters by sending them updates on your current status regularly. Recruiters see hundreds of resumes and candidates so eventually you will get lost in the shuffle if you don't be proactive with communication. I keep about ten recruiters that I know informed on a quarterly basis if I'm looking, if i'm happy, if i'm unemployed, etc. My longest gap in employment was 3 months in 2001 -2002 after 9/11. That was probably the worst market I've experienced for people in my field. 3 months in that market was almost miraculous. I knew people that were out of work for 2 years.
5. Use social networking sites for professionals. I use LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com) for building my contacts and investigating companies that I might be working for. It's a useful site, and it's meant for professionals, not teenagers(read: www.myspace.com)

How do you deal with the stress of being a contractor?

I've done it for a long time. I've long ago resided myself to the fact that companies are not loyal to their employees. I've positioned myself as a resource that provides results, so getting a job is never a problem for me. People are still shocked when I say that I can get a job almost anywhere.

Now granted in the last two years I've had two children. (Yes my wife and I practice the rythym method - badly) I've actually reconsidered my workstyle. It's natural. Maybe there is such a thing as security. But then again, I see another offshoring or a layoff to cut costs and I realize that it is never to be.

So, how do I deal? Simple, I keep myself in the know of the job market, the economy, the skillsets in demand, and my current situation. I know not so simple but most people can do this.

Know the job market. Subscribe to mails from the major job board sites for positions that you would be doing. Look at the postings and see how the market is faring. If you spot a slow time, look to bunker down at your current position to ride out the storm.

Know the economy. Same as above, knowing the economy is vitally important to knowing your particular job markets. Sense a slowdown? Bunker down, position yourself as an above average contractor that needs to be kept.

Know the skillsets that are in demand. Touting your skills in the Wang word processor will get a chuckle but won't get you an interview. Cull the stuff that's not relevant anymore off your resume'. Constantly look to improve yourself by being involved or learning the latest and greatest or my fave, the bleeding edge. Spend money, or offer up your services at a reduced rate if the engagement involves new leading edge skills that you can develop.

Know your current situation. Be proactive with your boss, take the questions to them. I practice a very pragmatic approach with people that I report to. I ask them frankly if my contract will be renewed usually a month before it's due, assuring them if it isn't, I won't be taking it personally and providing my best work right up until the end date. Sometimes budgets and company direction have other plans that don't include you and you can't take it personally.

This is the important part. Assure them you are a professional and not a pissed off child because you're not being kept. Don't burn a bridge, because the world is a small place. The benefit to actually working harder towards your end date is many things, including referrals, a potential spot in another part of the company, extensions to your current assignment, etc. Be an adult and you shall be rewarded.

Consider your resume' like a plant. Trim off those dead things, and keep it trim and healthy. I actually didn't follow my own rules in the last year and now I'm paying for it by doing a complete resume' makeover. Most people rarely if ever concentrate on the resume' until they've been sacked. If you're working on it at least once a month, you're better prepared to post it when requested.

In summary, it's been my experience that these layoffs, although painful are relatively good for many of the parties involved. I'll explain that in a later post.

This city will be a ghost town

Okay, I admit it, I'm a B&T resident, living in NJ. So as said trasher, I am happy to report that I drove through the Lincoln Tunnel to work today in record time 39 minutes to be exact.

What does this signify? Simple, the last hurrah summer vacations are in full swing.


In no uncertain terms, the time I left, driving to work, would have netted me a good hour of commute suffering and pain. The stop start stop start crawl into the Tunnel was actually pleasant as I made it into the mouth of the beast without the usual "What the fuck is this idiot doing?" primal screams that I usually belt out at some ethnic box truck driver.

Even better, the parking lot closest to the bank was actually NOT FULL. Whoo hoo, cheaper rate, and a two minute walk to my elevator!

Anyway, enough of my commute. I hope.

The last hurrah vacations make for a pleasant commute for sure. But, if you want to actually get any work done, you are shit out of luck, because nobody is around.

I have a hard time with this period. I never take vacations and work during these times. So as a professional contractor (yes, laugh away, I make loot though) it's disconcerting because it's in my wiring to actually accomplish something when I'm at work. I can't get anything done!!!! I'm going to get fucking fired!!!!

I know I need therapy, because the people tend to slack, and I tend to overwork. Is that bad?

Anyway, answer my question, my loyal readership, and maybe I'll take you out to lunch.

30 minutes though, I have to get back to work.

When the boss goes on vacation?

What to do, what to do. I think I'm going shopping for some CD's. Maybe, I'll come in 9:30 AM.

The new group from the guys from Blink 182 sounds good "Angels and Airwaves". I think they dumped that loser drummer Travis Barker.

No such luck. I have three projects that are ramping up right after the Labor Day holiday. Which means if I don't have my @#($(% together, I'll get slammed with extra hours at the office.

But I'll definitely schedule some gym time this week.

It's weird, my job doesn't really depend on face time, but I find myself ensuring that I'm around when my boss is on site. Don't know why I do that. My job's validation is delivery of projects, I can do it from home in my jammies.

This is a rant, I don't have anything insightful to blog about today. I'm mailing it in.

Sue me...

Where are the Four Horsemen? The end has to be near...

God Britney has turned into a Trailer Trash Mommy...but seriously who thought her male Yoko Ono husband Kevin Federlice is worthy of putting on a TV screen?

You be the judge...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYHHUbntf6I

Product endorsement time - Power Blast Energy Drink powder

This stuff is FANTASTIC.

Get a 20 ounce water bottle, drop this in first, then fill with water. You are revved up, but not in a heart wrenching "Oh god, why can't I stop fidgeting" sort of way.

The one odd thing that is really disconcerting is the fizzing and bubbling that it makes when water comes in contact with it.

Hope it's good for my insides. Ah well, screw it, I'm going to the home stretch getting things done without jumping out of my skin.

Check it out. http://www.powerblastenergy.com/ I bought it in Costco for about 20 dollars for a box of 24.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

What to do, what to do, what to do.

Am I the only one that doesn't start off well on a Monday AM?

Usually I'm up the night before, dreading the week start. Last night I made a focused effort to go to bed at 11:00. Still watched TV till 12:30.

By the way, Paycheck, straight to video, C+ review. Ben Affleck is NOT a leading man.

Either way, it's 10:30, and I haven't done a thing!

Except, read Gawker, get coffee, call my wife, check the job boards, look on Ebay for the wheels I want for my car, checked the job board, talked to my boss about the weekend, listened to two other conversations in other cubicles, turned on my cell phone and listened to messages, checked for a triathalon in New Jersey that I may want to do.

You see, haven't done a thing.

Flip Flops????

I was commuting today on the PATH and noticed an inordinate amount of flip flops being worn by men.

Now I understand that women wear them commuting then slip on the "proper" shoes for work attire, but now guys are doing the same?

I must be getting old, I just don't GET IT!

I was weaned on pre-corporate casual work attire. Suits, ties, braces, and shoes. I still have a hard time with some of the attire that people consider business casual.

I thought the Metrosexual was dead.

Obviously not on the PATH train coming from Hoboken. He's wearing flip flops.

Driving in on a Friday morning

Listened to the new Tom Petty album. Track one is fantastic, the rest of typical Petty.

But typical Petty isn't bad at all.

My boss, and other cubicle dwellers had a conversation about music. My boss, like myself is an old metal head. We got onto a conversation about Iron Maiden and surprisingly the other three cubicle mates chimed in on this. We kind of chuckled about our musical selections when we were young.

The important thing to note is as metalheads we appreciated hard and fast lyrics that may or may not be understandable during the melodies. The chorus you always understood that was your rallying cry to your metal god on stage.

I grew to appreciate Petty later in life. Simple lyrics, simple melodies, good tight music. Definitely not metal.

Ah when will I get any work done today?

What do I do for a living?

I usually dread this question.

My first answer is "I'm a technical project manager" which usually leads to the quizzical stares of "huh, what's that", which is followed by the barely audible "I see...."

I give up and tell people "I fix computers". That usually gets a more enthusiastic "Hey, I have this problem with pop ups"

At least it makes for less quizzical looks.

For what I do, I'm actually quite lucky. I have a ton of autonomy, work with very smart people, make decisions or facilitate them to drive forward change and innovation in the companies I'm contracted to.

I wonder if I had graduated college would I be in this field?

Anyway, funny anecdote. When my parents are asked about their children, my mother or father will round out the list by saying "Sister #1 is a lawyer, Sister #2 is a teacher, our son, he's into computas..." It's not a career in my parents eyes, it's an above board hobby.

Combined my sisters are short of my yearly income by about 50K. That's great for a hobby!